Covid-19: Musings on Identity

Sometimes you have to make mistakes. Huge, devastating, life shattering mistakes to gain perspective. Sometimes you think those mistakes were the right thing to do at the right time. Maybe they actually were never mistakes. Maybe they were just the steps you needed to take to find yourself in a hole so you could crawl your way back out. The truth is you can never predict the future. No matter how many tarot readings or horoscopes you follow. You will NEVER know the future. So all that you can do really is to make a decision and brace yourself accordingly. 

Covid-19 has halted our lives entirely. It has flipped our worlds upside down and, personally, I feel like I have nothing to hold onto. Except for myself. And that’s the scary thing. Who really ever wants to face themselves? I think it’s something that people are inevitably forced to do at some point in their lives. So here I am. Feeling like I’ve lost any sense of identity and self worth. I am literally forced to be at home and be with myself.

Here are the silver linings I see: I’m home with my family who I rarely get to spend extended periods of time with. I’m writing this blog post right now. I’ve realized just how many opportunities there are surrounding me. I’m journaling more. I’m creating routines and holding myself accountable. I’m learning to really be on my own maybe for the first time ever. I’m learning the difference between work and self. I’m learning that I need purpose. I’m learning that I have so much to offer. I’m learning to just start it and to not overthink so much being the perfectionist that I am.